* January 13, 2013

Not sure who is manning this spaceship.....

Not much in life is cooler (or sexier), than a daddy having fun and playing with his kids.

* January 12, 2013

That sweet face.....amazing how much of it seems so familiar, yet new at the same time. When I see Jake, I see Ariel.....the next moment, I see Joey....and then I blink and I see Corey's little smoochable lips  and nose. Then I close my eyes.....his sounds, his scent, his little fingers grasping me....*sigh*

I wish these moments would last forever......

* january 11, 2013

Feet! I love my kids' feet. Silly feet!

 I just wanted ONE good picture...so I took 46 of them. There were a few "perfect" ones....perfect toes, all lined up "just right" and no one being silly......I hated it. Instead, these are my favorites.

I love Ariel's face in reaction to Joey's feet......gosh, I love these babies!

This won't be their favorite, I am sure......but it's mine.

* January 10, 2013

My sweet Joey. He is my child (out of the four), that makes me most aware of my job as a parent. He is like me in some ways, when I was a child. Sensitive, needs to be wanted, insecure, funny, a smile that goes on for miles, and an attention span of a gnat. 

My parents divorced when I was a child. No matter how much I tried to convince myself that it wasn't going to affect me, it did. I was sensitive, hurt, confused, anxious, insignificant, and lost. Shortly after, my father remarried. This was particularly difficult for me....and no one understood (or in my eyes, cared). I wasn't upset that he was remarrying, per se.....but rather because I was pushed even farther down on the list of important things...the special  that I felt I was, had been erased. I was now....just a 'kid with an attitude problem'. I didn't want to be a problem or burden, I inherently just like to please people. Especially my seemingly unpleaseable parents. Dad was always worried about how step mom felt....and she felt A LOT. Mother was in a deep, dark funk (that she has never escaped from). I was just floating along. As long as I didn't disagree about anything, *feel* any way they couldn't relate to, and kept to myself, all was going to be fine. I just couldn't do it for long...it was a cycle...I would be blamed for things (sometimes accurately), I would get my feelings hurt for disappointing dad, then I would get in trouble for being sensitive and hurt. I HATED it....and I was stuck with it forever. I was a little girl....a daddy's girl, that lost him in that special way. No amount of "fix-it" was out there. We were irreparable.

Even now, I am 36 years old.....much more life has been lived since those days of being twelve. I am a mother myself, and Joe a father. Although I am not happy about my childhood, teen years, or even early adulthood....I won't dwell on those feelings of abandonment, control and selfishness.....I will and have used those experiences in raising my own, tenderhearted children. Joey wants nothing more than to be told he does a good job. Poor kid, he messes up just about everything he attempts.....but bless his heart, he tries....and I really look inside him to see his purpose, his feelings, his love for us...so fierce. Just looking in his eyes, I see me......and I just want to tell him that his life will be just fine. He's momma's boy always...

* January 9, 2013

Complete with a nervous tummy, Corey made it to school today with his new glasses on. I was happy to see that when he walked in the door after school, he was still wearing them......this time with a smile and silly faces, that are typical Corey.

* January 8, 2013

Sometimes A lot of the time, I feel like this silly putty. Overused, left out, forgotten, melted, strong, reshape-able, fun, stretched, bouncy, and sticky. There is always new and exciting, but I am reliable and familiar. I leave parts of me in most everyone....just as I carry around little pieces of you....

.....whether we like it or not.

* jaNuARy 7, 2013

Messy, sloppy, irresistible six year old.....complete with snaggle teeth, athletic pants, and cowboy boots (on the wrong feet of course).....at the top of my list of awesome.

Corey doesn't get a chance to play outside a whole lot throughout the year. From his heat rashes and asthma in the summer to too much smoke in the air in the winter, it's a rarity for him to be out for any length of time...plus, when we throw in his extensive autoimmune issues and their side effects....that limits his "Great Outdoors" experiences even more. It is nice, on a day like today, where the weather is *just* right and no smoke in the air.....where he can be a six year old......boots on the wrong feet and all.