See the look on Ariel's face? This is something that she has been called out on numerous times and it is something she gets punished for. Not because we don't allow her to have her own feelings, but because THAT is disrespectful when being told something by her parent/teacher/ANYONE!
I am going to be VERY frank right now and unload some things that a lot of you wish you could say, and also that some of you need to hear!
People.....your bratty, selfish, irresponsible, manipulative child will only grow to be an adult that is all of those same things....but bigger. How many of us deal with the rude person in the line that won't get off of their phone and take care of business or move out of the way to let someone else go instead?? The person that lies right to your face but gets offended when you express distrust in the future?? The ones that feel like they are too good for any job because THEY shouldn't have to do it.....someone else should?? The ones that get themselves in to debt because they have no appreciation or understanding of money at all....and the words, "living within or below your means" is not in their vocabulary?? The ones that when they don't get their way, they think life is so unfair?? We all get heated, upset, and irritated when an adult is any of those selfish, irresponsible, or manipulative things.......SO WHY DO YOU RAISE ONE????!!
I know that there are times our children do or say something that we were completely unaware of and it can catch us off guard and maybe even embarrass us a bit....GOOD! At least you paid attention, accepted the fact the the kid is not perfect and I am sure dealt with it in an appropriate way. I am not going to say what YOUR appropriate way should be, but I do know that if your child does not learn that there are consequences early on, they will never think any apply to them! Because when it comes to bad behavior, "it's just a phase", is crap! The behavior only gets worse the older they get! I mean, you are taking an immature, irresponsible person and putting them behind wheels of cars, sending them out on their own in society, to endanger and annoy the community. So when I am not letting my kids hang out with you or your kids........you may want to take a hint!
Now that I have that off of my chest, I will say this......Most of my friends are great parents and do a wonderful job raising their kids. But some of you have children with behaviors that APPALL me.....but your behavior, as a parent, not addressing them or at least taking the time to know what sort of ways your child acts towards other people, disturbs me even more. Pull your head out of
Below is an article written by Shawn Snyder:
1. Discipline. It doesn't take long for a toddler to toddle right into trouble of some kind. It is a learning time as they are just starting in their lives and this normally leads to a child getting into situations that can lead to trouble of some kind. This is the perfect time for a parent to teach the child not to do that action again. This process is called discipline. Discipline seems to have a negative vibe associated with it but discipline is a key teaching tool that parents are not using to its full potential. It is a teaching tool to help guide a child no matter the age to learn and obey rules placed on that child. Part of the learning is to understand that there are consequences to their actions. We as parents need to allow our children to experience the consequences from their actions. This learning tool will help them to make better decisions through their lives. That helps in not raising a brat.
2. Responsibility. If our goal is to not raise children who act like brats then teaching them responsibility is an important step. The children of this generation seem to have the concept that they are here to be waited upon and given their every whim. Long gone are the times when Saturday morning or after school hours are used doing chores around the house and yard as well as part time after school jobs during the teen years. A child who is taught to work gains respect for the time and hard work it takes to keep things nice and in working order. Clean dishes just don't appear they have to be washed, the grass in the yard just doesn't cut itself it is a lot of hard work to keep it mowed and looking nice. And with that knowledge they will respect their own things along with stranger's property.
3. Time. Nothing is better fodder for creating a situation where your child can get in trouble then extra time on their hands with no goals or challenges to stretch their selves. I don't believe that a child should have an activity scheduled every single hour; we don't want to overload our children. What creates the problem is when kids do the famous "hang out" with their friends hours after hours, day after day pretty soon leading to boredom. When a kid is bored they can end up in trouble creating problems for themselves and others. Sports, activities and chores are a few things to help give a kid something to fill their time.
4. Money. It is said that today's young people spend more today then any other group in history. My question is how? Where are these kids getting all their money, allowance and part time jobs do not make for the highest spending consumer group? The adults in their lives are blindly handing money and credit cards to them making up for not being a part of their lives, for peace and quiet, for guilty voices whispering that we owe them, for the need to make up to them that someone isn't in their lives; whatever the motivation is the money is free flowing and on its way to creating bratty self centered kids.
And so mom and dad as you can see there are some things that can be done to help our kids not to be brats. But you also have to see that most of these steps start with you. The discipline, responsibility, time management and monetary values all have one thing in common, you the parent. These kids rely on you, it is your responsibility to help and guide your kids. So, the next time you see a bratty kid remember they didn't get that way themselves, they have parents who didn't take the time to teach them that there is a better way to gain attention.
Please know that I do not think my children are perfect, nor do I pretend that they are. If you have read other posts on my blog, I freely discuss their embarrassing, rude and naughty things that they do. BUT, they are punished, they get grounded, they have their toys/phone/tv taken away and I DON'T REWARD THEM WITH NEW THINGS.
Thank you so much for this post Jen! Comes at a perfect time for me. I have been so frustrated with kids behavior and lack respect. I need some serious guidance.
ReplyDeleteGREAT post. My children are far from perfect and it would be so much easier to ignore it, but my fear of raising a bratty adult keeps me consistently addressing problems.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you've had a rough couple weeks. I would love to talk on the phone and talk life and wedding. 616-719-9400.