*Jenni's Law

You know the old saying, Murphy’s Law? Well, here is my version, Jenni’s Law!

- If I get dressed up for any reason, in anything other than jammies, I will have a stain on it before getting the three kids in the car.
- If I buy the kids a new shirt, they will (all 3 of them) wipe their leftover food from their face onto the sleeve!
- If I get Corey to finally take a nap, so I can go to the bathroom in peace, the bird will screech and wake him up.
- When I finally do get to the bathroom, there will not be any toilet paper in there. And if there is by some odd chance, it will fall into the wet bathtub, out of my reach.
- After making sure the cat box is all fresh and clean, she will go in there and take a crap right as someone pulls into the driveway!
- Immediately after bathing my dogs, they will find the one pile of shit in the yard Ariel didn’t pick up, and roll in it!
- After getting all 3 kids and two shopping carts to the far end of Wal-Mart, Joey will tell me he has to go to the bathroom. Even if he went at home!
- If I leave the bathroom door open for even one second, Corey will flush everything in the room, down the toilet!
- If I finish all of the laundry and finally sit down, Ariel will tell me that she forgot to give me her gym uniform.
- If I do take the van to be washed, the largest heard of birds ever seen will shit all over it before I can get home.
- If Joe and I have plans to go out by ourselves, which is almost yearly, I will start my period out of nowhere!
- If I have a horrible migraine and need Joe to rub my neck, he will have hurt his hand or finger at work!
- If I finally get a hold of a movie I really really wanted to see, it will not play in my DVD player.
- If I am trying to get on the freeway, there will be someone in front of me trying to merge into traffic going 30 MPH.
- When I go to a fast food restaurant, I will have the person serve me that hates life, hates me, and most of all, hates working at Taco Bell.
- If I get a chance to take a bubble bath in my Jacuzzi tub, it will get a weird air bubble in the line and shoot water and suds all over the bathroom.
- After freshly bathing and dressing the kids, Corey will poop when we get 5 miles down the road and force me to pull over and change him roadside.
- If I buy Ariel anything, it will be the wrong color, style or fabric.
- If I leave the laptop on the end table, Corey will use it as a stepping stool on the floor.
- If I dare wake up Joe to tell him he is snoring, he will think I want something more!!!
- On the occasion I do want something more, one of my kids will wake up due to a dream, a drink of water or bathroom run.
- If I let Ariel get her clothes ready for the laundry, she will leave in one of her pockets, a lip-gloss, pen or piece of gum.
- If I take my children in public, one of them will say or do something that leads others to believe that they have not been raised in civilization!
- If I do not make sure the cat’s food bowl is full at all times, she will come into my room and bite my forehead while I’m sleeping.
- If a product claims to be unbreakable, one of us in this house will break it!
- After I post this, I will remember something else I meant to say!!