*Wedding Slideshow



Our photographer, Andrejka,  was kind enough to make us a sweet slideshow for our wedding, set to the best song. We were so fortunate to have her with us those amazing days up in Mackinac Island. Thank you Andrejka.....and I hope you all enjoy.... http://www.andrejkaphotography.com/JenniJoe/

And my favorite........

If you are interested in seeing all 1200+ pictures, they are here: http://www.pictage.com/1012431



And...if you are interested in seeing Andrejka's blog, you can check it out here: http://www.andrejkaphotographyblog.com/

*Home Sweet Home

So, at some point I thought it was a great idea to take Ariel, our newly 15 year old daughter, on a cruise with my aunt and her two daughters. It was SO exciting........until I got ON the ship. =/ The yearning for Joe and the boys was IMMEDIATE and hit me hard. I cried like a baby, and called Joe to say goodbye.....5 times...

Do not get me wrong, this lovesick feeling of being away from them was not in the obsessive, co-dependant form...but rather, a bit puppy love, a bit BFF's being away from each other for the first time ever -with NO contact, and a bit maternal and wifely instinct that shit was going to hit the fan back at the house......

Well, everyone, even all of the pets, survived =) Ariel and I had a great time despite her seasickness and my missing Joe and my boys.

We tried things that we never thought we would........and we ALL accomplished new things. Ariel sang karaoke with her two cousins aboard the ship for a St Jude fundraiser.....

We tried escargot (ahhhhhhh....I knooooow)......swam with dolphins and rode on their belly.....

Ariel learned that she CAN stay with 4 other girls in one room and not lose her cool.......

I learned that I CAN allow myself some of life's enjoyments once in a while.....just because I have back problems, mom things to handle, and I freckle too easily- I DO deserve to have some fun and soak up the sun!! It just might take me longer to get there and more sunscreen to lather on.......

Joe learned that he, the boys and pets would survive without me......they might not like it and may lose a couple digits, but they'll survive.....

All in all, we all learned a little a lot!! Some just have more permanent memories from it.......

My heart is so full.........

*And the winner is.........

I have been going insane....driving myself (and Joe too I am sure) NUTS over these color decisions. Well.....there, I'm done. A decision has been made and I feel SO MUCH BETTER! =)

We are simple, FUN, excited, children loving, cheerful and happy people and THIS is what best suited us.

*Sigh* Now I can stop fretting and start enjoying this planning. Thank you Abby for your insight!

*I'm not crazy....just misunderstood

I am not crazy…..just misunderstood! How can I be thankful for a car accident that has ruined my life?? I have not talked a lot about my health to anyone….even some of my family is in the dark re: my battles….I just choose not to talk about things and go on every day like things are as they are supposed to be, which I guess, in a way, they are. I don’t know where to begin or even what to say, I’m just ready to get stuff off my chest and take a full breath of air without all of this all bottled up…….most of us know that writing in a journal of sorts can be therapeutic, well that is what I’m doing here….I’m just making it public, so that friends and family who have been wondering what is going on can finally hear/read it and I don’t really have to call everyone individually. Before I begin….this is not meant to undermine anyone else’s feelings or battles that they may have….I know that there are many worse off than me and I want to acknowledge that.

Like I said, I don’t know where to start off -if there really is a place……all I’ve ever wanted was to be a mom…a GREAT mom! With difficulty and misfortunes along the way, I have had three beautiful, perfectly spoiled kids. The problem comes in last Christmas when Ariel and I were in a car accident. The car was totaled, but we walked away….seemingly rattled and bruised, but okay. As the weeks went on, Ariel’s bump on her head went away, my bruises and pains throughout most of my body started healing and everything seemed to be on track for the better, except for my back. As the weeks turned in to a couple months, my back was in so much pain that I literally would shake and vomit……my legs started giving out on me and I was falling more and more often…….no warning….no odd movements……just BAM- hit the floor. My doctor decided that it was time to do a MRI and X-rays. They were done in February and the results were not at all what we were looking for……nothing “fixable” at this time. It seems that I have rheumatoid arthritis and that the accident caused a very very fast paced degeneration in my whole lumbar and sacral spine……nerve roots are compressed and the bone is very degenerated…..as the radiologist put it….”I have never seen this even in a 90 year old”. Also…..we found out that there is a tumor within my vertebrae of my thoracic spine. Now…..this is where I am thankful for this horrible accident that has demolished my back and nerves forever…….had I not been in that accident, I would not have had a MRI for any reason and the tumor would not have been found. So you can see, I am thankful to have been in this accident.

We don’t have much to go on with this tumor -if it has grown, the best course of treatment looks like radiation at this time…….I go for a follow up MRI soon (I was due in August). I admit, I have been putting it off……yes, Joey was having his own issues and was hospitalized, and Ariel had this or that going on, but I have delayed my appointments…..I guess I don’t want to hear what the Dr has to say about it…..call me irresponsible or ignorant….I know…I feel the same way….but I can’t help feeling like that. I have called this morning to set up my follow ups and I am awaiting a call back as I type this.

I am in constant horrendous pain…….24 hours a day 7 days a week….I don’t really sleep and haven’t very well since before last Christmas….I now also have heart problems because of the constant pain and anxiety….I can not bathe my little boys…..walk very much without assistance on my really bad days…….play with the kids, travel to far-a-way places (by far-a-way) I mean more than 30 minutes, I shake and get horribly nauseous…..I can not bake and cook like I used to, I can not help Joe remodel this house that we have been so passionate about together- now it all rests on him…..this has completely ruined my life……I am often depressed wishing I could run in my huge gorgeous yard with my boys….I am only 32. I would rather be in labor and push a baby out daily with no drugs than deal with this every single second of my life…..I worry about my kids……will they resent me? I think Ariel already does. I worry that if this tumor causes any more problems, I won’t be able to handle it……I worry about it, but I know I’ll handle it just fine…..like everything else……I’ll just put my big girl panties on and deal with it….right??!!

Anyways, so there……everyone knows now…..I’m not at all anti-social….but I can not go to many places…..it is too hard on me physically and mentally……I’m tired of giving excuses of why I can’t go here or there……I have horrible anxiety and panic attacks due to my chest pains, pain in my back and worrying about this stupid tumor…..I went to see my family in California for a weekend and the pain about killed me from sitting on the plane for 3 hours straight.….I am making myself even more tired and worn out by always putting a smile on my face and clenching my teeth to pretend that all is being handled well -right now….it’s not, I feel like crap and until we find something that can help at least with pain control- I am not feeling well……I can not take narcotics or opiates for the pain…they do not work and make me feel ill…….so until something better comes along, I take nothing, which isn’t good for the ticker, because now I have tachycardia and take meds for that…..for now, I guess I’ll just continue to be thankful for having had the MRI, that I can still kiss my kids, that I have not actually fallen in a few weeks and that I have amazing friends and family standing by wanting to help me kick this crap in its ass! So there you go….it’s out there and I feel soooo much better. I will make sure and give updates as I have them!

-Jen


PS
My cousin Salyna, who has her own battles gave me this link a long time ago and I’d like to share it.

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

*Jenni's Law

You know the old saying, Murphy’s Law? Well, here is my version, Jenni’s Law!

- If I get dressed up for any reason, in anything other than jammies, I will have a stain on it before getting the three kids in the car.
- If I buy the kids a new shirt, they will (all 3 of them) wipe their leftover food from their face onto the sleeve!
- If I get Corey to finally take a nap, so I can go to the bathroom in peace, the bird will screech and wake him up.
- When I finally do get to the bathroom, there will not be any toilet paper in there. And if there is by some odd chance, it will fall into the wet bathtub, out of my reach.
- After making sure the cat box is all fresh and clean, she will go in there and take a crap right as someone pulls into the driveway!
- Immediately after bathing my dogs, they will find the one pile of shit in the yard Ariel didn’t pick up, and roll in it!
- After getting all 3 kids and two shopping carts to the far end of Wal-Mart, Joey will tell me he has to go to the bathroom. Even if he went at home!
- If I leave the bathroom door open for even one second, Corey will flush everything in the room, down the toilet!
- If I finish all of the laundry and finally sit down, Ariel will tell me that she forgot to give me her gym uniform.
- If I do take the van to be washed, the largest heard of birds ever seen will shit all over it before I can get home.
- If Joe and I have plans to go out by ourselves, which is almost yearly, I will start my period out of nowhere!
- If I have a horrible migraine and need Joe to rub my neck, he will have hurt his hand or finger at work!
- If I finally get a hold of a movie I really really wanted to see, it will not play in my DVD player.
- If I am trying to get on the freeway, there will be someone in front of me trying to merge into traffic going 30 MPH.
- When I go to a fast food restaurant, I will have the person serve me that hates life, hates me, and most of all, hates working at Taco Bell.
- If I get a chance to take a bubble bath in my Jacuzzi tub, it will get a weird air bubble in the line and shoot water and suds all over the bathroom.
- After freshly bathing and dressing the kids, Corey will poop when we get 5 miles down the road and force me to pull over and change him roadside.
- If I buy Ariel anything, it will be the wrong color, style or fabric.
- If I leave the laptop on the end table, Corey will use it as a stepping stool on the floor.
- If I dare wake up Joe to tell him he is snoring, he will think I want something more!!!
- On the occasion I do want something more, one of my kids will wake up due to a dream, a drink of water or bathroom run.
- If I let Ariel get her clothes ready for the laundry, she will leave in one of her pockets, a lip-gloss, pen or piece of gum.
- If I take my children in public, one of them will say or do something that leads others to believe that they have not been raised in civilization!
- If I do not make sure the cat’s food bowl is full at all times, she will come into my room and bite my forehead while I’m sleeping.
- If a product claims to be unbreakable, one of us in this house will break it!
- After I post this, I will remember something else I meant to say!!

*Corey's Birthday

It was August 23, 2006 at 10pm, the air was hot and sticky, and I was going to pop at any moment! Literally pop, I thought. At 3 days shy of my due date with Corey, and having had contractions continually for almost a week, I had had enough! That morning I had gone to my regular check up with the OB and I think he may have actually had some pity for me. He said “Be at the hospital at 10pm tonight, we’ll get this done”. Oh, what a relief…I couldn’t wait, the baby had his eviction notice and I would be at least 15 pounds lighter by tomorrow I thought.

Yeah, well, Corey had other ideas. He was comfortable in there. I think he may have even rearranged ‘furniture’ to make himself some more room. He was in it for the long haul. Not even budging a little. So, the more stubborn he got, the more aggressive the nurses and doctor got…..that equals me becoming a complete lunatic!! I was so calm and collected with the other two; I thought I was a pro at this.

I was only dilated to a three and stuck, and now it was Friday the 25th. This was the day that no one in that room had signed up for! The nurses checked and said that they would be back in a couple hours to cram their whole arm inside of me to check again. About 10 minutes later, after I had all but given up, I told Joe I had to push. The nurse came in and said that I must have to go to the bathroom, because it wasn’t near close enough to have me push. I asked her to please, please take a peek. She SLOWLY and reluctantly put on some gloves and meandered over to the end of my bed to appease me. She pulled up the sheet and after her mouth dropped open and eyes about pooped out of her head, she put the sheet down and gathered up the ‘crew’. FINALLY, it was time!

At the hospital with me was, Joe, and my sister, Corianne. My best friend Shelly was to be called when it was ‘time’ due to her being at work. Well, it was ‘time’, so Joe called Shelly and said “get over here quick”. No one would let me push, so here I was waiting and waiting…I mean, the time I had been working toward this past 2 days was here, and I couldn’t push??!! UGH!!!! 15 minutes pass and I think, I could have been done by now. Right about then, Shelly rushes through the door and the doctor arrives. It was time now, no more waiting. I’m a pro at pushing and out he’ll pop. Or so I thought!

Joe is at my left, Shelly is at my right, and my poor sister is at the Dr’s right in full view of my glory, camera and all!! What happens next, proves what strong and unconditionally loving, my friend and family are. I’m laying almost flat on my back, pushing away, I tell the nurse that I should be sitting up more, cause that’s how I did with the other two and they were out in just a few pushes! Nope, she says, it’s better this way! Ugh….I felt like I was pushing a Buick up a hill. Right at that moment, I see a look of confusion and denial on Joe’s face. He shoots his eyes towards my sister who, camera in hand, has the same look. Joe then looks to Shelly; someone to say it’s just his imagination. She has a huge smile on her face that does not even let up and quickly nods her head in affirmation. I think what? What? What has happened? Why are they acting so weird? Then the smell hit me! Oh no!! No, way!! Yup, I did, I pooped!! Joe tried to bury his nose in his underarm, but he didn’t want to hurt my feelings. So, they all stood there strong. The nurse did look to my sister and say; “I wouldn’t take a picture if I were you”.

Right after that episode was cleaned up, what more could there possibly be, right?? Wrong!! About that time, the doc decided to take out the catheter that I had, right in the middle of a push!! Yup, you guessed it!! I peed all over the doctor and nurse! The only thing I could say was sorry. What else was I to do?

I finally said firmly that I needed to be raised up so I could push more effectively. The nurse agreed and sat me up. Two pushes later, and there was Corey. All wrinkly, red and pimply, but he was so perfect. Every minute of those agonizing, couple days was worth it.

Joe, Shelly, and Corianne shared more with me that day than they had hoped for, but I wouldn’t have it any other way! I am still reminded of this wonderful experience often, and I smile with pride!! Poop and all, it was a great day!

Corey was born at 5:31pm on August 25, 2006. He was 19 inches long and weighed 6lbs, 13oz, before pooping all over the nurse!!

*Finally at Peace

What am I ‘supposed to be’ doing as a parent? Specifically, a stay at home parent. This is a question I have struggled with for a couple months now. My day, before all of this quiet chaos I presently live with, consisted of: waking up very early, going to my overly stimulating job where I personally encountered 60 to 90 patients a day and took care of each and every one with precision and love. I walked about 7 miles a day at work (according to the pedometer I purchased at Wal-Mart due to a patient’s curiosity). On top of the almost insane patient load I had, I also had to oversee flow of the practice and do almost all of the billings of insurances for the practice. I was like a circus organ grinder monkey, feed me caffeine all day and watch me go. The autopilot was only disabled when everything came to a screeching halt due to the ‘office manager’s’ personal crisis of the day. It was always dramatic and definitely this time, it was the end of the world. So, sometimes I also got to pick up her kid from school or take the big boss’ car to be washed. Forget that I couldn’t even make it to my own daughter’s assembly at school for good grades or that I hadn’t even washed my own car in about 6 months, I got to take care of theirs.

Life as you can see was rich! How could I have possibly wanted more? I mean, I got a whole 2 weeks off for maternity leave. Oh, and I also was 1099’d on my Christmas and birthday gifts!! Woo-Hoo! Now, that is love! My evenings and sometimes uninterrupted weekends consisted of coffee, cleaning a house, making meals and carting the kids from one place to another all in a blur. Oh shit, I forgot to say, that at times, there was actually a few minutes for me to squeeze in a shower, but shaving, that was only for special occasions.

So, it’s 6pm and I was supposed to leave work a half hour ago, and the kids are excited and cranky at the same time. Kick off my shoes, whip up a dinner that Betty Crocker would have been ashamed of and plop it on the table. “Eat… hurry….we need to get the boys bathed, read to, teeth brushed and in bed; Ariel we need to work on your 5th science project for the year!” Okay, now it is 8pm and Joey refuses bedtime, he’d rather lie in the hallway and stare at us. Corey, only a few months old, decides to go to the bathroom again, but this time all over his clothes, bed and somehow hair. “Ugh, Ariel, you try and figure out how to draw an illustration for AIDS on a giant poster board of a timeline, while I go bathe, re-clothe, and change bedding for Corey.” Now, its 8:30pm, Ariel is getting tired and still needs to shower, but we still haven’t decided on how to draw this damn picture. I tell her to shower and I would figure it out. As I sit there for a half hour wondering how this could be a real project, my mind races….did I pay the phone bill? I swear I did, I remember writing the check, but I can’t remember actually mailing it. Oh shit, now we aren’t gonna have a phone. Well, if the phone still works, I can call the bank to see if the check cleared…that’s what I’ll do! By now, it’s 9pm and Ariel is ready for bed. I hand her the poster board with a smile of accomplishment. She said, “mom, all you did was write AIDS in red, fancy”. I could tell that she was disappointed in my artwork, hoping I would have come up with something spectacular. She said, “What am I going to tell my teacher of why I didn’t draw an actual picture”? I then thought for a minute, there has to be an answer to this question, after all, moms know all. I had it!! I told her to ask her teacher to tell her what she would have drawn for AIDS, what could she possibly have thought of? Nothing better than me I was sure! So, now it’s 9:30 and I have to sign that permission slip and write a check for $20 for that field trip…ugh, now where is my checkbook? It has to be around here somewhere….not in my purse, not with the bills, was it behind Joey’s toy box with the mail that he hides?

Well, I better shower myself; maybe I’ll remember what I did with that checkbook while in there. While taking my luxurious 5 minute shower, I think of all that I need to do for the upcoming weekend of camping. Shit, did I get the marshmallows? I don’t think I did. I walk into the kitchen and open the cupboard to get some Tums for my stressed out and overly caffeinated stomach, and there I also find the checkbook. Why the hell is it with the medicine? In the kitchen? Well, I did buy the marshmallows and I did send off the phone payment. Whew!! Now, let me scoop Joey up off of the hallway floor and put him in bed. 10pm and in bed myself, Joe does the whole, throw his arm over me and sleepily rub my backside. I say, “give it up Joe and go back to sleep, I’m too tired to even brush my teeth, plus, I didn’t even shave!”

Fast-forward 6 months. Here I am with all of the time in the world to go to those school assemblies, volleyball games and back-to-school nights. I can play with the kids out in the rain, bake a loaf of bread and take that oh so missed bubble bath. And I wonder, am I supposed to be doing more? Should I have gone over Joey’s ABC’s again? Should I have made Ariel do her own laundry? Should I not have let Corey bathe in his mashed potatoes at dinner? Well, now it’s almost midnight and I realize that what ever I do or don’t do, it’s right! Joey is happy to go to bed in his own bed, excited that tomorrow he’ll help me make homemade pizza. Corey is sleeping without a care in the world. Ariel is dreaming about what her little boyfriends at school might get her for Valentine’s Day. Joe is snoring, but I don’t care, at least he is cozy. Just them knowing that I have an available hour or two for just them, is enough to make them sleep soundly. Although, that meatloaf I made for dinner might have given me some heartburn, I am good too. Peaceful I would say! Knowing that tomorrow is a new day and it’s all about my kids is enough for me. Well, time for me to go get that Tums and get lost in my own dreams!! Oh, and that science project; after asking her teacher what she would have drawn, Ariel received a big fat A!! And, I actually shaved my legs!!