*R.C.B.

Gone, but most definitely not forgotten. It has been nine LONG years, but somehow feels just like yesterday you were alive and well......and being.......you. Hanging out with us "kids" talking, waxing your car for the two thousand and third time that year, enjoying a cigar and singing Elton John's- Bennie and the Jets, to your Bennie Boo Boo, in the garage. Yelling at Tim for farting in the kitchen or for jumping off of the roof into the pool, having a tea party with Ariel, eating Cozy Shack Rice Pudding, or irritated because someone forgot to clean out the lint trap in the dryer.

Many people, love, miss, and think of you every single day. We wish you were still here to make so many more memories with. Thank you for being the man you were, for teaching us all the lessons you did, and for being one of the most entertaining men I have ever met. At that point in time, I did not have my father in my life........I had you.

My life right this second is what it is 100%, because of you.....not many people know this, but I am willing to share now......

 When you were ill and things started to seem bleak, I was crumbling inside. I wanted to keep my brave face on and be the one Marilyn, Ver and Tim could lean on. I had never in my life felt so overwhelmingly sorrowful. I was strong but I think you knew my secret. Answering the questions Ariel had was heart wrenching......you were her man =)  You held on for days more, and then one day in the hospital room, Tim and I decided to get fresh air and a bite to eat. You passed away about 5 minutes after he and I left. I think you knew we were a wreck. I felt helpless. I wanted to fix them all....their hurt......and anger. I went home that night just destroyed. I was lying on my bathroom floor crying all night and Teron, my boyfriend at the time, just watched TV. He did not have one ounce of sympathy, care, or compassion, that the woman he professed to love- was heartbroken. I decided right then.....that night.... to tell him I could not stay with him.

Less than two months later, I met Joe. The most thoughtful, passionate, giving person I had ever met. Aaaand.....he just ADORED Ariel. He did the silly things you would do and had no shame in doing her girlie little things either. So, out of your passing, I was able to gain this most wonderful, blessed life, with two little brothers for Ariel, that I would have never known had I not felt so heartbroken and alone. There was some sunshine after all of that gloom. Ariel and I miss and love you like crazy!! You will always be part of our lives~

A special song will be playing on my other blog....just for you and Bennie! =)
http://mymemoriesandsuch.blogspot.com/

*Doing it Right?!

I will not pretend to be perfect or even an expert on the subject, but I am a parent of a teenage daughter that is asked constantly, how the kids I am raising are so well behaved and "normal". I will focus mostly on Ariel, because I have been her parent longest. She fills me with huge amounts of pride, and in the same sentence, can make me feel like I am literally going insane. I have tried many different methods of discipline with her over the years and I was always left feeling that she was impossible.......now that I am older, as is she, I think it was ME that was impossible. Let me explain. We have preconceived notions of what this child is "supposed" to be. And when this child colors outside of those preconceived lines, we balk. I am not saying that we (the parents) are always wrong in this.....but I am saying that we are NOT always right!

Ariel is 15 1/2, driving, hormonal, intelligent, sassy, emotional, insecure, hopelessly forgiving, unreliable around the house, completely devoted to her sports and activities, a mean big sister, very sharp tongued, relentless when she wants something, crazy funny, and manipulative. All VERY NORMAL things for a young lady on her way to  being her own woman.

Now, my discipline/parenting is completely dependant on the child's attitude and maturity. As I mentioned, Ariel is starting to drive. Well, driving is not a right.....it is a privilege....and you better bet that if my teenager is acting like a 4 year old that has been told they can't have ice cream, then SHE WILL NOT DRIVE. If she is unable to find a way to help around the house and show some responsibility (without being asked).....then she will be UNABLE TO FIND HER PHONE. If she makes the horrendous decision to lie to me, then she will not have the pleasure of going to friends' houses or parties......I can not trust that good decisions will be made away from me if she has made crappy ones in front of me.

So there you have it.....very very simple and very hard for the child/teenager to argue. You are simply treating them at the age/maturity level they are behaving in. If your 12 year old wants to whine and pout like a 2 year old, then very bluntly......THEY ARE NOT MATURE ENOUGH FOR A PHONE! Would you buy a 2 year old a phone??? Didn't think so. If your child can not find a way to clean up after themselves, then THEY DO NOT NEED MORE THINGS!!! Why keep giving them more to take care of??? You are not FORCING this child to be anything that they are not ready for, if they want to be immature, then so be it. But you also should not reward their decision by treating them like they are mature and deserving of "older", more mature things.

We, as parents, need to take responsibility for our actions in enabling our children's bad behavior! You can not blame the child/teenager for what they have been ALLOWED to be. Have higher expectations of them, do not waver, and be rewarded!! They are not our puppets......but we can help them to be the BEST they will be when they are grown. Because we all know that selfishness, greed, hatefulness, temper tantrums and laziness don't just disappear in adulthood......who wants their child to be THAT PERSON when they are on their own??!! I sure don't.




If you have any nuggets of information that may be helpful to others on this topic, please feel free to share it below!

*Listen to My life

My most recent fixation (aside from the baking)......I have started a new blog, in addition to this one, that is music based. I feel like as we get older we "forget" so much. Memories, good and bad, get buried under more memories and events and feelings and we lose touch with them. But when you smell that certain smell or hear that "one specific song" you are hit hard with the memory and emotion....like no time at all has passed. I am trying to make a diary of sorts for myself, of all of these memories since childhood. Without even having to write a word, I can relive and remember all of these specific feelings and memories.....happy or sad. I have this overwhelming fear of forgetting everything and losing myself........so I am making sure that I have these Feelings That I Felt Right Then on record.....so I won't ever forget........


If you read this blog.....then chances are I have memories with you......so no doubt, you will recognize some of these emotions......and remember too....

http://mymemoriesandsuch.blogspot.com/

*Fall



What a scrumptious past two days I have had. We have truly had some beautiful fall weather here and I have enjoyed every second of it. I feel like a butterfly that has finally left the cocoon. These past two months have been trying....physically and emotionally.

The kids started school:

Ariel is a sophomore, cheering, running cross country and is vice president of FCA.

Joey is in 2nd Grade and LOVES his teacher (and if I may say so myself, I LOVE her too). Joey has joined Cub Scouts and is VERY excited to get a uniform and he has decided that he may try to play basketball this year.

Corey is in Pre-K and goes to the elementary school with Joey. I take them every morning and they ride the bus home together in the afternoons. Corey has loved school wholeheartedly and was really upset when he had to miss a couple days due to a cold. His only dislike is when he has to be told it is time to get up from nap...ha ha. (And in case you are wondering, I have my sad, lonely, "my kids are growing too fast" moments, but for the most part, I have adjusted just fine as well).

The puppies, Layla and Beaux, are growing like weeds. They are almost 5 months old and FULL of energy (which I am not). They love to go for rides in the van and every day at 3:30pm, Layla stands in the living room window knowing that the bus is about to be here with the kids on it.

Joe's hand is healing up well. He is no longer in constant pain, but still does not have feeling in his finger or the side of his hand. The doctor did say that it could be about 6 months or so before he begins to feel anything. We hold out lots of hope still.



I had a follow up MRI for the spinal tumor and had (what I think is) wonderful news! The tumor has NOT grown in size but it has increased in signal??!! (Whatever that means). I will be discussing everything with my doctor at my next appointment and will pass along whatever he says. It has been a difficult time for me though, pain-wise. For whatever reason, it has been very rough here these last few weeks. I am thinking that maybe, at the very least, Joe and I should really consider buying a new bed. Maaaaybe it will help even a little.

Then, we had a nice gas leak here at the house. So, long story short.....our bird died, we have had no gas for a couple weeks (which makes cooking VERY interesting) and we will be tearing up our front yard and replacing all of the line in ground and also replacing what comes in to and under the house. Fun Fun Fun times =)

Right now I am SO SO SO looking forward to my Shelly and Eddie visiting for a couple of days next week. They are coming sans kiddos and we are farming ours out to my wonderful parents for a couple of the days they are here. This will be THE FIRST time we will have adult only time with our BFF's for longer than an evening out to dinner. *Sigh* We  are so excited that we don't even know what to do with ourselves. I do know that Eddie's plans are to go home with quite a few more tattoos though =)

That brings me to my very important order of business........WEDDING.......a tad shy of 9 months!!! Eeeeeek!!! It hit me like a lightning bolt last night. I guess now is when I bombard Joe with all of my hundreds of ideas on ten different decisions to be made at one time. Thankfully, most of the BIG things have been settled. The wedding blog link is here, if you would like to see more details. 

I hope everyone has a wonderful start to the Fall Season~



*I'm a selfish mom......

I knew this day would come. I have prepared for it since he was born. On August 23, 2010- my "baby", Corey,  will start school. 

 I cried on Ariel's first day of school. She smiled and waved at me, and the video camera I was holding, as I sobbed behind the lens. I cried on Joey's first day of school . Corey and I walked Joey to his class. With his backpack dwarfing him, Joey smiled and waved goodbye .......I had tears running down my face all the way home.

It is almost two weeks until the start of school and I am ALREADY crying. I don't know if it is because he is my "baby".......maybe because I know the house will be too quiet all day now- no more playing, talking and laughing with me all day.......could it be because he and I became super bonded when he was in his body cast for a couple of months when he was two? Whatever the reason, I am having trouble coming to terms with it. I KNOW he will have fun. I KNOW it is good for him socially and academically. I KNOW that he will live and so will I. But I have to say that I did start questioning whether or not to send him. It is Pre-K at the Elementary School. It is not mandatory, in fact, there are just 15 slots available and we happened to get in. Yes, I secretly hoped that we would get passed up so that Corey could stay home with me for one more year. But, for those of you who know me....what do I always say??? "Everything happens for a reason"!!

Since I have been home with the kids for the past three years I have become SO selfish. I almost never do anything without them. They have not even been "babysat" in three years, other than time with Granny and Pa Pa. I just do not enjoy tons of time away from them. I know to some of you parents I sound absolutely crazy, but it is true. I worked so much (see my earlier posts) before, that I have savored every fighting, laughing, potty training, hugging, kissing, movie repeating, heat rash having, body cast wearing, smiley face moment!!! I am SO thankful to have my children. The love and pride for them is immeasurable.

 So, where does this leave me? What will I do while someone else gets to hear all three of them laughing, making sure they eat, and telling them to stop finger painting with spit?!

*Sigh*

*Meet My Girls

Ok....here we are, the long awaited post of my girls........Meet My Loves!!

Meet my sister, Corianne Henry, Officiant:

She married me and hundreds of stuffed animals growing up.....After a decade of pretend marriages, I felt she was the only one fit to marry me and Joe. She has been ordained a minister and will make our childhood, girlie dreams a reality!

Meet by childhood friend and surrogate sister, Abby Manchesky, Matron of Honor:

I knew Abby before she was born. Our fathers have been best friends their entire lives. When Eileen, Abby's mom, was pregnant with her and my mom, Darlene, was pregnant with my sister (at the same exact time and due dates two weeks apart), the excitement for me was through the roof! I gained two sisters in two weeks. My childhood Michigan memories that I hold so dearly (hence the wedding locale), all include Abby!

Meet our daughter, Ariel, Maid of Honor:

Ariel is my heart and spirit! She completes and balances me. The yin to my yang......I do not remember what life was like before her, nor do I want to. She keeps me grounded and stable, she has made me who I am today!

Meet my best friend, Shelly Roy, Matron of Honor:

Shelly and I were fast friends. With like minds and a passion for life......we have been best friends for a decade! She not only knows me better than I know myself, but she knows me and Joe together. She truly is the epitome of what a best friend should be and there is nothing that she would not do for me. She's had me since hello......(hee hee)- oh yeah....and she's the funniest girl I know!

Meet my cousin, Elizabeth Bellotte, Junior Bridesmaid:

Meet my cousin, Hannah Grace Bellotte, Junior Bridesmaid:

Meet my niece, Amara, Flower Girl:

Meet my surrogate niece, Holly Roy, Flower Girl:

So, there you have it......my lovelies, my heart, my day would not be complete without them!!

*Home Sweet Home

So, at some point I thought it was a great idea to take Ariel, our newly 15 year old daughter, on a cruise with my aunt and her two daughters. It was SO exciting........until I got ON the ship. =/ The yearning for Joe and the boys was IMMEDIATE and hit me hard. I cried like a baby, and called Joe to say goodbye.....5 times...

Do not get me wrong, this lovesick feeling of being away from them was not in the obsessive, co-dependant form...but rather, a bit puppy love, a bit BFF's being away from each other for the first time ever -with NO contact, and a bit maternal and wifely instinct that shit was going to hit the fan back at the house......

Well, everyone, even all of the pets, survived =) Ariel and I had a great time despite her seasickness and my missing Joe and my boys.

We tried things that we never thought we would........and we ALL accomplished new things. Ariel sang karaoke with her two cousins aboard the ship for a St Jude fundraiser.....

We tried escargot (ahhhhhhh....I knooooow)......swam with dolphins and rode on their belly.....

Ariel learned that she CAN stay with 4 other girls in one room and not lose her cool.......

I learned that I CAN allow myself some of life's enjoyments once in a while.....just because I have back problems, mom things to handle, and I freckle too easily- I DO deserve to have some fun and soak up the sun!! It just might take me longer to get there and more sunscreen to lather on.......

Joe learned that he, the boys and pets would survive without me......they might not like it and may lose a couple digits, but they'll survive.....

All in all, we all learned a little a lot!! Some just have more permanent memories from it.......

My heart is so full.........

*And the winner is.........

I have been going insane....driving myself (and Joe too I am sure) NUTS over these color decisions. Well.....there, I'm done. A decision has been made and I feel SO MUCH BETTER! =)

We are simple, FUN, excited, children loving, cheerful and happy people and THIS is what best suited us.

*Sigh* Now I can stop fretting and start enjoying this planning. Thank you Abby for your insight!

*Bi-Polar??

So I am planning my own weddng......after almost 10 years together and 3 children, we are FINALLY havin' a hitchin'.....ha ha, sorry, I couldn't help myself. I have two TOTALLY different visions for my wedding. Joe is just as stumped as I, so I am mulling it over. Hopefully we can decide soon, because much of the "wedding week" will be DIY.

We will be married on Mackinac Island in Michigan. It is one of my absolutely favorite places in the world. I just get a feeling of *content sigh* when I think of the island. It is like an old world stuck in today's times.....there are no cars allowed, well no motor anything, for that matter. You get around by feet, horse back or carriage, and bicycle. And the lilacs....oh those lilacs.....I heart them A LOT! Anyways......I have feeling that this next year of planning all of the "wedding week's" events will bring some smiles, entertainment, and ideas to others.....I hope you enjoy! I will leave off right now with these two themes I have going on.




This one is what I call Muted Love.......it romantic, soft, vintage....












This one....completely different.....is also "ME" (well and Joe also of course). It is cheery, retro, summery and sun shiney.....








So, there you go....my dilemma for the past two days.......*sigh*

*I'm not crazy....just misunderstood

I am not crazy…..just misunderstood! How can I be thankful for a car accident that has ruined my life?? I have not talked a lot about my health to anyone….even some of my family is in the dark re: my battles….I just choose not to talk about things and go on every day like things are as they are supposed to be, which I guess, in a way, they are. I don’t know where to begin or even what to say, I’m just ready to get stuff off my chest and take a full breath of air without all of this all bottled up…….most of us know that writing in a journal of sorts can be therapeutic, well that is what I’m doing here….I’m just making it public, so that friends and family who have been wondering what is going on can finally hear/read it and I don’t really have to call everyone individually. Before I begin….this is not meant to undermine anyone else’s feelings or battles that they may have….I know that there are many worse off than me and I want to acknowledge that.

Like I said, I don’t know where to start off -if there really is a place……all I’ve ever wanted was to be a mom…a GREAT mom! With difficulty and misfortunes along the way, I have had three beautiful, perfectly spoiled kids. The problem comes in last Christmas when Ariel and I were in a car accident. The car was totaled, but we walked away….seemingly rattled and bruised, but okay. As the weeks went on, Ariel’s bump on her head went away, my bruises and pains throughout most of my body started healing and everything seemed to be on track for the better, except for my back. As the weeks turned in to a couple months, my back was in so much pain that I literally would shake and vomit……my legs started giving out on me and I was falling more and more often…….no warning….no odd movements……just BAM- hit the floor. My doctor decided that it was time to do a MRI and X-rays. They were done in February and the results were not at all what we were looking for……nothing “fixable” at this time. It seems that I have rheumatoid arthritis and that the accident caused a very very fast paced degeneration in my whole lumbar and sacral spine……nerve roots are compressed and the bone is very degenerated…..as the radiologist put it….”I have never seen this even in a 90 year old”. Also…..we found out that there is a tumor within my vertebrae of my thoracic spine. Now…..this is where I am thankful for this horrible accident that has demolished my back and nerves forever…….had I not been in that accident, I would not have had a MRI for any reason and the tumor would not have been found. So you can see, I am thankful to have been in this accident.

We don’t have much to go on with this tumor -if it has grown, the best course of treatment looks like radiation at this time…….I go for a follow up MRI soon (I was due in August). I admit, I have been putting it off……yes, Joey was having his own issues and was hospitalized, and Ariel had this or that going on, but I have delayed my appointments…..I guess I don’t want to hear what the Dr has to say about it…..call me irresponsible or ignorant….I know…I feel the same way….but I can’t help feeling like that. I have called this morning to set up my follow ups and I am awaiting a call back as I type this.

I am in constant horrendous pain…….24 hours a day 7 days a week….I don’t really sleep and haven’t very well since before last Christmas….I now also have heart problems because of the constant pain and anxiety….I can not bathe my little boys…..walk very much without assistance on my really bad days…….play with the kids, travel to far-a-way places (by far-a-way) I mean more than 30 minutes, I shake and get horribly nauseous…..I can not bake and cook like I used to, I can not help Joe remodel this house that we have been so passionate about together- now it all rests on him…..this has completely ruined my life……I am often depressed wishing I could run in my huge gorgeous yard with my boys….I am only 32. I would rather be in labor and push a baby out daily with no drugs than deal with this every single second of my life…..I worry about my kids……will they resent me? I think Ariel already does. I worry that if this tumor causes any more problems, I won’t be able to handle it……I worry about it, but I know I’ll handle it just fine…..like everything else……I’ll just put my big girl panties on and deal with it….right??!!

Anyways, so there……everyone knows now…..I’m not at all anti-social….but I can not go to many places…..it is too hard on me physically and mentally……I’m tired of giving excuses of why I can’t go here or there……I have horrible anxiety and panic attacks due to my chest pains, pain in my back and worrying about this stupid tumor…..I went to see my family in California for a weekend and the pain about killed me from sitting on the plane for 3 hours straight.….I am making myself even more tired and worn out by always putting a smile on my face and clenching my teeth to pretend that all is being handled well -right now….it’s not, I feel like crap and until we find something that can help at least with pain control- I am not feeling well……I can not take narcotics or opiates for the pain…they do not work and make me feel ill…….so until something better comes along, I take nothing, which isn’t good for the ticker, because now I have tachycardia and take meds for that…..for now, I guess I’ll just continue to be thankful for having had the MRI, that I can still kiss my kids, that I have not actually fallen in a few weeks and that I have amazing friends and family standing by wanting to help me kick this crap in its ass! So there you go….it’s out there and I feel soooo much better. I will make sure and give updates as I have them!

-Jen


PS
My cousin Salyna, who has her own battles gave me this link a long time ago and I’d like to share it.

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

*Corey's Birthday

It was August 23, 2006 at 10pm, the air was hot and sticky, and I was going to pop at any moment! Literally pop, I thought. At 3 days shy of my due date with Corey, and having had contractions continually for almost a week, I had had enough! That morning I had gone to my regular check up with the OB and I think he may have actually had some pity for me. He said “Be at the hospital at 10pm tonight, we’ll get this done”. Oh, what a relief…I couldn’t wait, the baby had his eviction notice and I would be at least 15 pounds lighter by tomorrow I thought.

Yeah, well, Corey had other ideas. He was comfortable in there. I think he may have even rearranged ‘furniture’ to make himself some more room. He was in it for the long haul. Not even budging a little. So, the more stubborn he got, the more aggressive the nurses and doctor got…..that equals me becoming a complete lunatic!! I was so calm and collected with the other two; I thought I was a pro at this.

I was only dilated to a three and stuck, and now it was Friday the 25th. This was the day that no one in that room had signed up for! The nurses checked and said that they would be back in a couple hours to cram their whole arm inside of me to check again. About 10 minutes later, after I had all but given up, I told Joe I had to push. The nurse came in and said that I must have to go to the bathroom, because it wasn’t near close enough to have me push. I asked her to please, please take a peek. She SLOWLY and reluctantly put on some gloves and meandered over to the end of my bed to appease me. She pulled up the sheet and after her mouth dropped open and eyes about pooped out of her head, she put the sheet down and gathered up the ‘crew’. FINALLY, it was time!

At the hospital with me was, Joe, and my sister, Corianne. My best friend Shelly was to be called when it was ‘time’ due to her being at work. Well, it was ‘time’, so Joe called Shelly and said “get over here quick”. No one would let me push, so here I was waiting and waiting…I mean, the time I had been working toward this past 2 days was here, and I couldn’t push??!! UGH!!!! 15 minutes pass and I think, I could have been done by now. Right about then, Shelly rushes through the door and the doctor arrives. It was time now, no more waiting. I’m a pro at pushing and out he’ll pop. Or so I thought!

Joe is at my left, Shelly is at my right, and my poor sister is at the Dr’s right in full view of my glory, camera and all!! What happens next, proves what strong and unconditionally loving, my friend and family are. I’m laying almost flat on my back, pushing away, I tell the nurse that I should be sitting up more, cause that’s how I did with the other two and they were out in just a few pushes! Nope, she says, it’s better this way! Ugh….I felt like I was pushing a Buick up a hill. Right at that moment, I see a look of confusion and denial on Joe’s face. He shoots his eyes towards my sister who, camera in hand, has the same look. Joe then looks to Shelly; someone to say it’s just his imagination. She has a huge smile on her face that does not even let up and quickly nods her head in affirmation. I think what? What? What has happened? Why are they acting so weird? Then the smell hit me! Oh no!! No, way!! Yup, I did, I pooped!! Joe tried to bury his nose in his underarm, but he didn’t want to hurt my feelings. So, they all stood there strong. The nurse did look to my sister and say; “I wouldn’t take a picture if I were you”.

Right after that episode was cleaned up, what more could there possibly be, right?? Wrong!! About that time, the doc decided to take out the catheter that I had, right in the middle of a push!! Yup, you guessed it!! I peed all over the doctor and nurse! The only thing I could say was sorry. What else was I to do?

I finally said firmly that I needed to be raised up so I could push more effectively. The nurse agreed and sat me up. Two pushes later, and there was Corey. All wrinkly, red and pimply, but he was so perfect. Every minute of those agonizing, couple days was worth it.

Joe, Shelly, and Corianne shared more with me that day than they had hoped for, but I wouldn’t have it any other way! I am still reminded of this wonderful experience often, and I smile with pride!! Poop and all, it was a great day!

Corey was born at 5:31pm on August 25, 2006. He was 19 inches long and weighed 6lbs, 13oz, before pooping all over the nurse!!

*OK, I admit it

I once was asked to say something good about myself that no one else knew about. I knew what I could say, what I wanted to say, but I was embarrassed. I quickly thought of a back up good trait. I was scared that if I said I was an in the closet hero, people would think I was a sucker! OK, so I am sometimes, I’ll admit, but that doesn’t stop my quest to be a hero! I really do have a huge heart, for people, animals and even inanimate objects that I swear have feelings too. Joe says that he realized I was the one for him when one day, an out of the blue rainfall poured down as we were driving. At a street corner, there was an elderly couple walking hand in hand in the pouring rain. I wanted to pull over and give them my umbrella. At that moment, Joe fell in love.

I have given money to those who seem to need it, even when I really don’t have any to spare. I have taken in and cared for people and animals even when they don’t appreciate it, but yet I still keep going. That endearing quality I had 6 years ago, has since become a roll the eyes, “you did what?” type thing. I can’t help it. That poor dog outside in 20-degree weather and one eye that is closed shut, makes me want to cry! I want to make him better, feed him and make him warm, but he won’t let me near him. So every day, I feed him and attempt to bribe him with little treats just so he’ll come close enough to me so I can see his poor, painful eye. I never succeed in even touching him, but I think if I keep it up, he too will fall in love!

Every week on the news, they profile a child that needs a home. Some are quiet, some are full of life, and some are siblings, all looking to have a home together. I don’t care what their ages or races are, I want every last one of them. I try, often, to convince Joe that somehow we could make it work…all we need is a bigger house and tons of money for adoption….I know it would be great!! I would be like the ‘little old lady who lived in a shoe’!!

We pulled things out of our old barn from years past. Things that did not belong to us and had no value to us personally, but somehow, I felt responsible for these things. We couldn’t just burn these memories from other people that have somehow left them here, so out they came, into our shed, safe and sound from the fire. I felt like these things deserved a home too. Just another example of my save the world, no matter what a sucker I look like, but couldn’t have it any other way life!

So, I’ve lived in the closet for a long time, and now it’s time to come out! I AM A HERO!!!! At least that’s what I tell myself. There are a lot of closet heroes in my life! I will not ‘out them’, they know who they are! I just want to let them know that they inspire me to be this hero! I don’t want a prize for my acts of random kindness; I just want others to feel empowered to do the same. There is nothing like that feeling of a heart melting….give it a try, you’ll see!

Well, that’s it for now, I have to go feed the one eyed dog, dream up plans for my one day adopted kids, and wash my hero costume!